Sobriety Doesn't Require Perfection—It Only Requires Your Participation

When I first got sober, I thought I had to become someone else entirely. Someone polished. Enlightened. Someone who meditated flawlessly at sunrise, drank green juice (I actually do this), and never loses their temper in public. That idea kept me drunk for 34 years; like "why bother, I'm hopelessly flawed."

The truth is, sobriety hasn't made me perfect—it's made me present. And presence is messy.

There have been days I've sobbed while sitting (hiding) on the floor in my closet because I wanted to numb out. Days I've cracked with the people I love, only to apologize later with an apprehensive, vulnerable heart. Days I've sat in more than one meeting, not because I felt strong, but because I wasn't. Days I've called another sober woman or my sponsor, because I was fearful.

I once thought that participation meant performing at my best all the time.

Nope.

Participation means showing up—whatever that looks like.

•  Some days, that means getting to a meeting(s).

•  Some days, it means drinking water and zoning out on Netflix.

•  Some days, it means standing firm in my truth: I don't drink, no matter what.

Sobriety is about trying. Remaining honest. Being willing to feel all the suck that you used to run from. It's about staying where your feet are when everything in you wants to bolt.

You don't have to have flawless attendance. You don't have to say all of the respectable things or repair everything you broke all at once. You just have to keep saying yes to this bizarre, beautiful, uncomfortable, restorative thing called recovery.

So if you're bumbling through it—good, you're in it.

Sobriety doesn't demand your perfection. It just needs your participation. And today, showing up is enough.

Read my book for more stories about living life in recovery. Now available on Amazon.